Laurence and I visited my family back east. My Mom is in a care facility and my Dad is still living at home. My Mom was pretty good while we were there. She has moments of not remembering, or remembering very strange experiences due to her dementia. My Dad is lonely at home but it is much easier not having to care for my Mom 24/7. It is touching to see them together and how much they care for each other. Will be married 68 years this year! Amazing.
Accusation, blame and criticism; it’s what I call the abc’s of complaining. It takes our attention off our own doubt and places it onto others. After all, isn’t it our friends and family members that cause the problems? If they would just get in, get out, get going we would be all right. Honestly, the problem is that complaining zaps the energy right out of us.
If we believe our words have power, then using them to complain is to keep our problems alive. Instead of choosing words of faith or love, complaining keeps us stuck in the old pattern of thinking and keeps us stuck in the past. The Law of Attraction works both ways: Whatever you put your attention on increases. When we put our attention on what doesn’t work, we see more of what is not working. When we experience more of what is not working, our energy, enthusiasm, vitality and passion begin to spiral down and leave us listless and lifeless.
What do I want instead? This is an important question that takes us out of the downward spiral and lifts us into the realm of possibility. Possibilities activate our imagination causing us to look upward and beyond the current experience. Opening to imagination opens us to the limitless expression of Spirit.
Imagining the possibilities of a life of harmony, peace and prosperity changes the energy down to the very cells of our bodies. More importantly, we have the power to imagine what we want. Each one of us has the power to transform doubt into faith.
Faith is the freedom in knowing that whatever I need will be provided; whether it’s having the strength to face the day, the courage to speak my truth, or help for a loved one. Faith is appreciating everyday as a treasure and every experience as a gift.
Let’s kick doubt out. There is no longer room for doubt in your consciousness. There is no longer room for doubt in your experience of life. You have the Faith to live life fully and with joy.
I suspected the deer were munching on my vegetable garden. The blossoms were eaten off the bean plants early in the season. The sad fact is their habitat is disappearing with the new homes being built in the neighborhood. It is still amazing to see them up close and personal.
I like to think of myself as a positive person. I try to find the highest thought in most situations. I noticed this week as I witnessed some negative energy and anger that my tendency was to run in the opposite direction. I had an insight that there is a powerful healing opportunity if I could just stand still and not flee.
Since our human nature is 98 percent emotional and 2 percent rational, conflict causes a physical feeling of anxiety and an emotional feeling of insecurity. When anxiety is experienced, we have a choice between reacting or reflecting. When we neglect to choose, our default mode is reactive.
Our reactive mode runs the gambit; do we fight or flee, struggle or surrender, attack or withdraw. The need to appease is part of the reactive mode. All too often I find that we often suppress or deny our true feelings in order to appease. We can change this pattern by speaking our truth using ‘I’ statements instead of ‘you’ statements.
There is a lesson in the Course in Miracles that invites us to focus our thoughts: “Peace of mind is clearly an internal matter. It must begin with your own thoughts, and then extend outward. It is from your peace of mind that a peaceful perception of the world arises.” The lesson invites us to notice our fearful, anxiety-producing thoughts and offending personalities or events and repeat a new thought: I could see peace instead of this.
By choosing to see peace, we have an opportunity to observe and relate to the situation at hand in a new way. We may still be troubled by the conflict and still observe it with an intention for clarity. The practice engages our Higher Self and we are guided to a more peaceful solution.
Mother Theresa said, “If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive.” We can learn to forgive when we are willing to reflect and not react. It takes practice and commitment and it is one way we can begin to change our experience of the world. Blessings for a peace-filled month!
I was at a wedding shower recently and the topic turned to online dating. Everyone knows someone that has been burned by online dating. Here are five steps I have shared (from my own traumatic online dating experience);
1. Nothing on the web is real. Think about it. Nothing is guaranteed to be what it says it is. Don’t assume anything! Which leads to the next step…
2. Ask probing questions. Assume you know nothing. Ask about everything. Treat the date as an interview.
3. It’s all practice. Don’t be afraid of saying something silly. It’s just practice. Even if there is no spark, take the time to learn about the other person. It solidifies what you like and don’t like in a person.
4. Journal your experience. Write down what you learned about yourself and the potential date.
5. Don’t give away the farm. Don’t tell everything immediately. And if you get farther than the first date, don’t give away the farm. The more you respect yourself, the more you will be respected.
I would love to hear your online rules of dating!